Closer/seed/questions/FUN_RELATIONSHIP_QUESTIONS_RESEARCH_NOTES.md

# Fun Relationship Questions Research Notes v3

This research note updates the Closer daily question guides after reviewing modern couple apps, conversation-card games, date-night question lists, and relationship research summaries.

## Main Takeaway

Fun relationship questions work when they feel like a small playable moment.

They are not just "warm prompts". They use choice, humor, tiny missions, preferences, memories, flirtation, and low-pressure honesty.

## Pack Size Decision

Normal Closer category packs are capped at **150 questions**. The cap is a maximum, not a quota; smaller packs are preferred when they avoid filler or repeated mechanics.

A full 150-question mixed pack targets 45 free and 105 premium questions, with no more than 5 written questions by default. Written prompts remain optional and should be used only when an open response adds real value.

The 511-question daily single-choice weekday and wildcard system is a documented product-specific exception. Its size must not be copied into normal category packs.

## What Good Examples Have in Common

* They are quick to answer.
* They create a tiny story or choice.
* They ask about favorites, memories, date ideas, silly preferences, attraction, or what sounds good now.
* They give permission to be playful, weird, honest, or flirty.
* They avoid sounding like therapy unless the product is clearly built for therapy.
* They do not make the relationship feel like work.

## What Closer Should Copy As A Pattern

Do not copy outside questions.

Copy these patterns:

* "Would you rather" choices
* fake awards
* tiny missions
* snack drafts
* date-night picks
* silly debates
* comfort-show or music choices
* flirty low-pressure picks
* first memory or favorite memory prompts
* small adventure choices
* "what should we try tonight" prompts

## What Closer Should Avoid

* chores pretending to be romance
* bedtime logistics
* household admin
* therapy words
* generic wellness phrasing
* vague answers like "quality time"
* awkward domestic answers like "the good blanket saved"
* options that do not all answer the same prompt

## Specific Guide Changes Made

* Added a research-informed fun rules section.
* Added required daily game mechanics.
* Added stronger option checks.
* Added a research pass before writing daily packs.
* Added a second sample gate requiring 8 of 10 sampled questions per weekday to feel fun, sweet, flirty, silly, date-like, or game-like.
* Added metadata fields for `content_policy` and `research_note`.

## Sources Reviewed

* Paired: https://www.paired.com/
* Gottman Love Maps: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-sound-relationship-house-build-love-maps/
* Teen Vogue couples questions: https://www.teenvogue.com/story/145-questions-for-couples-that-are-always-worth-asking
* Guardian on conversation cards: https://www.theguardian.com/wellness/2024/feb/23/conversation-starters-card-games
* GQ on Esther Perel's conversation game: https://www.gq.com/story/esther-perel-card-game
* Verywell Mind spicy questions: https://www.verywellmind.com/spicy-conversation-starters-8737188
* Partnership through Play research: https://arxiv.org/abs/2505.09509

## Gap Found After v6

The v6 guide improved fun, but still left two gaps.

First, it did not force patch discipline strongly enough. A writer could mark a few weak questions and then rewrite far more than needed. Future guide versions must require `fix_marked_ids_only` unless a mass rewrite exception is documented.

Second, it did not clearly separate fun from random. A pack can avoid therapy voice but drift into snack overload, fake award overload, or childish nonsense. Future daily packs must stay playful and adult, not random for its own sake.

## Added In v7

* Patch mode is required by default.
* Passing questions must stay frozen.
* Mass rewrites require a documented over-60-percent shared failure.
* Every marked question needs a fix scope.
* Fun but grounded is now a gate.
* The option answer test is now required.
* Remaining hard flags must be 0 before production-ready.

## Added In v8

* Normal category packs are capped at 150 questions.
* The 150-question limit is a ceiling, not a quota.
* A full mixed pack targets 45 free and 105 premium questions.
* Written questions default to 0 to 5 per normal pack.
* The 511-question daily system remains a documented special exception.